WEB SITE TERMS OF USE
Wow! You
actually came to this page.
Here's the
deal:
We run this
site so that people like you (and people you
like) and businesses can use it for personal
entertainment, information, education,
communication, and so on. So go
ahead and browse around all you like. If you
do, though, don't fool around with the
copyright and other notices all over the
stuff. They're there for a really good reason.
And don't even think about distributing,
modifying, transmitting, reusing, re-posting,
or anything else un-cool with any of the
stuff, including the text, images, audio, and
video, for public or commercial purposes
unless we give you written permission. And
it's not likely we will.
If you visit
our site, you're also legally obligated to
[read: stuck with] the terms and conditions
listed below and any other law or regulation
that applies to the site, the Internet, the
World Wide Web, or Calvert County, MD. You
shouldn't access or browse the site if you
have any problem with that, because once you
start, there's no turning back -- you are
bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and
conditions.
So here's the
scoop on our Top Ten Rules for Cybersurfers
who hang out on our site:
1.
For everyone's sake, just assume that
everything on the site is copyrighted unless
we say it's not. So you can't use the stuff
except how we say you can on this page or
anywhere else on the site without our written
permission. And like we said before, it's not
likely we'll give you permission anyway. So
it's better you don't even ask.
2.
While we try to include accurate stuff on the
site, we're not promising you it's accurate.
In fact, we're not promising you anything
except fun and entertainment. So if you use
stuff on the site, you're using it at your own
risk. Don't call us if there's a problem
because we assume no liability or
responsibility for errors or omissions on the
site.
3.
We and anybody else who helped us create,
produce, or deliver the site are not liable
for any damages you suffer when you use it. In
particular, the lawyers want you to know that
our disclaimer includes "direct,
incidental, consequential, indirect, or
punitive damages arising out of your access
to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the
foregoing, everything on the site is provided
to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND,
EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT
NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF
MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR
PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note
that some jurisdictions may not allow the
exclusion of implied warranties, so some of
the above exclusions may not apply to you.
Check your local laws for any restrictions or
limitations regarding the exclusion of implied
warranties. Here's the bottom line -- we're
not responsible if you're browsing around and
the site damages you or your computer or
infects it with any nasty viruses. We sure
hope that doesn't happen, but if it does,
don't call us.
4.
If you don't want the world to know something,
don't post in on the site or anyplace else. That's because
anything you disclose to us is ours. That's
right -- ours. So we can do anything we want
with the stuff you send us. We can reproduce
it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it,
broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We
can even send it to your mother (as soon as we
find her address). Not only that, we can even
use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or
techniques you post any way we want to,
including, developing, manufacturing and
marketing products or other stuff using the
information you send us.
5.
Pictures of people or places shown on the site
are either our property or someone else's
property we're using with their permission. No
matter what, it's definitely not your
property. You or any of your net-friends can't
use it unless we said you could on this page
or somewhere else on the site. And guess what
-- we won't say yes. So be careful, Spunky,
because unauthorized use may violate all sorts
of nasty laws. Be smart, keep the stuff you
download to yourself.
6.
There's also a lot of trademarks, logos, and
service marks on the site that either we own
or we're using with someone else's permission.
So don't think you have any kind of license or
right to use them, because you don't and we're
not about to give you one. If you don't leave
them alone and mess with our trademarks, logos
and service marks on our site, we'll probably
go ballistic, so will the companies that own
the other trademarks, logos and service marks.
That means that we're likely to sue you or to
ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing
around with our property or the property of
others.
7.
You'll probably notice we've linked our site
to lots of others. While that's cool, it
doesn't mean we've looked at all those sites,
much less checked them out periodically to see
what's going on. So don't blame us if some
site you link to is bad or has stuff on it
that offends you or your pets. Go ahead and
link, but remember, you're doing it at your
risk.
8.
We're also allowed to change this page and
anything else on the site any time we want to.
That's because it's ours and we have the
programmers who can do it. If we do change the
page, then you're bound by [read: stuck with]
those changes, too, whenever you visit our
site.
9.
If either of us wants to make something of it
and wants to “sue” (a dirty word) then we
have to follow these rules of engagement.
(sort of according to the Geneva Convention):
This Agreement
is governed by the laws of the State of Maryland, without regard to principles of
conflict of laws.
To the extent
you have in any manner violated or threatened
to violate MMPG and/or its affiliates'
intellectual property rights, MMPG and/or its
affiliates may seek injunctive or other
appropriate relief in any state or federal
court in the State of Maryland, and you
consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in
such courts.
Any other
disputes will be resolved as follows:
If a dispute
arises under this agreement, we agree to first
try to resolve it with the help of a mutually
agreed-upon mediator in the following
location: Prince Frederick MD. Any costs and
fees other than attorney fees associated with
the mediation will be shared equally by each
of us.
If it proves
impossible to arrive at a mutually
satisfactory solution through mediation, we
agree to submit the dispute to binding
arbitration at the following location: Prince
Frederick, MD, under the rules of the American
Arbitration Association. Judgment upon the
award rendered by the arbitration may be
entered in any court with jurisdiction to do
so.
If this all
sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic,
well...there is no lock on this
door...besides...the only thing a lock does is
to keep an honest person honest.